A Certain Type of Humor
by Shipper Friendly
Summary: Mulder and Scully go to William's first grade open house. Oh, the fun! You could say it's a bit AU because William is...there. Crack-ish and wacky!


**This insane, wacky idea was planted in my head all thanks to my school's open house. My dad follows my schedule, my mom does my brother's this time, and so I was thinking about them acting like teenagers.**

**Then I thought of Mulder and Scully if _they _were my parents at open house.**

**This is the result.**

**It's very unlike anything I've written. I usually don't write stuff with William and...stuff. So...enjoy ^.^  
**

"Good evening, parents and guardians, I'm Mrs. Pecocky-"

Mulder and Scully, seated towards the front, snickered. "Pecocky…" Mulder said to himself.

Mrs. Pecocky stared them down. They immediately shut up. Mulder rolled his eyes and Scully had to fight back a giggle.

It was open house night at William's elementary school, and things were going…interestingly. The couple sat down at the table William does and, like always, caused ruckus.

"Scully, do you think that William is a ladies man?" Mulder whispered while Mrs. Pecocky was still talking. Once again, they got the death glare from the evil first grade teacher. They looked at each other, obviously annoyed, and then pretended to pay attention to the 'presentation' that she was giving.

"So on the first day of school we learned-Mrs. Mulder! No gum in the classroom!" Scully stopped chewing immediately.

"I don't have any…"

"Don't pull that with me." Mrs. Pecocky pointed to a trashcan by her desk. "Spit it out now."

_It's bad enough I have to deal with rambunctious little kids but now the parents too?_ Poor, middle aged Mrs. Pecocky thought. As a matter of fact, the Mulder parents were worse than William himself.

"I can't believe she made me do that!" Scully said incredulously. "Who is that helping? Really?"

Mulder nodded along and pulled out his cell phone. "Screw this, I have work to do."

He began texting.

"As I was saying before…on the first day of school, we all learned a bit about each other. You all have such wonderful children and-"

"_Jeremiah was a bullfrog!_"

Guess whose phone it was.

Scully pulled it out and looked 'concerned' when she saw the number. "Can I take this?"

"Mrs. Mulder, no cell phones in class, please. I forbid texting and taking calls!" By now Mrs. Pecocky was at breaking point. Scully just ignored her and answered Mulder's text anyways.

_Mrs. Pecocky is being a real killjoy.-Mulder_

_I know, I can't believe William puts up with this everyday.-Scully_

They shared a knowing look.

By the end of open house, Mulder got yelled at for trying to make a shot in the wastebasket with a paper ball, Scully almost got detention for texting _again_, and Mrs. Pecocky was almost ready for retirement.

"Mr. and Mrs. Mulder, can you please stay behind a moment?"

Mulder and Scully reluctantly made their way to Mrs. Pecocky's desk. As he once again looked at her name plate, Mulder laughed. Mrs. Pecocky almost strangled him.

"You two have been acting immature all night. Your son is more mature than you two! I'm disappointed."

"We're sorry to hear that." Mulder said. He wasn't very believing. He had his phone out and was checking the time. "Better get that little sucker to bed! Let's go, Scully."

Scully uncharacteristically stuck her tongue out at the teacher and walked out with her head held high in respect for her son.

…

"Mommy! Daddy! What did Mrs. Pecocky say?" Mulder giggled a little to hear his son accentuate the middle of her name. William was just like his father in a perverted kind of way.

"Oh, she said so many, _many _things." Scully ruffled his hair. "Time for bed! Say goodnight to Aunt Monny and Uncle Johnny!"

"Goo'night…" William said dejectedly.

"So, what did Mrs. Pe_cock_y really say?" Monica said suggestively.

All Mulder and Scully could do was look at each other and start laughing.

"Oh, she just doesn't understand our humor, that's all…"

The next day, William complained about a certain rising of workload.

It's safe to say Mulder and Scully tried their hardest not to interrupt open house ever again.

(But no one said they succeeded)


End file.
